I am. I am not special in that. We all grieve. It’s universal, yet unique.
I have grieved before, so I thought I knew. But it turns out it is also unique for each person grieved and for each time it comes.
I have been wondering—despite having a life I feel such gratitude for, despite many good things happening in the past months, despite managing my thoughts and feelings about the news, despite having important (to me) “to dos” to do—why I can’t seem to find a rhythm to my days or a focus for my mind, why I can’t seem to make myself sit down to write, why I’m snappish too much of the time.
This morning, I finally let myself own that I am grieving. Though it’s true I did not see the friend I lost more than once or twice a year, and it’s true that his loss has not changed my day-to-day life much, it is also true that my world does not feel the same without him in it. And I don’t like the world without him as much as I liked the world with him.
I grieve my loss. I grieve for his family and friends whose day-to-day lives have changed with his loss. And for those friends, who like me perhaps, didn’t realize how much a part of their lives he was. But I also grieve that he didn’t get to do more of the things he had listed on little bits of paper just days before he died—contemplating his life after working so intensely for decades, contemplating doing more of what he loved rather than what others needed.
His many accomplishments and all he did in service to our environmental geology profession, and the common good, could fill pages and pages. But I think I’ll simply say that he was one of the finest human beings I have ever known, and I sorely miss my dear friend.
I write this in honor of Duane Kreuger, April 26, 1970-May 26, 2024, who left those who love him much too soon.
[He was President of the AEG Foundation at the time he died. His family has asked that if you wish to honor Duane in this way, to please make a donation in his memory to the fund of the AEG Foundation you most care about. https://aegfoundation.org/]
Beautifully spoken for each of us in our losses.
Miss you, Duane, so much!
A beautiful tribute, Deborah Green. I’ll be sending something to AEGF soon, in Duane’s honor.
All my love, Deb. It’s been amazing to see all the beautiful things said about Duane and the funny stories.
WOW! Deb, this is so powerful, heart-wrenching and stated so eloquently. Thank you!
So sorry for your loss, Deb. He must’ve been quite a guy.
Just received this link from Daren and Kathie, which they got thru Anna. Thanks for these thoughts.
Thank you for a kind remembrance and a good reminder.